May 2016 ~ Dear Miss Mormon

Sunday, May 1, 2016

happily ever after's are overrated

Dear friend,
It's been hard to write to you because sometimes life is hard.

Like, stupid hard.

You think you've got it all figured out and then you turn around and it's a hot mess and you're a hot mess and there is nothing good that comes from you being a hot mess.

But after you're done being a hot mess and you put the box of cookies away you start to see the lessons along the way (now replace all the "you's" with "I's" and you get the picture).

A couple of months ago I went for a drive with a friend to talk about life. My friend opened up about frustrations he was currently feeling in regards to where his life was headed and what he wanted it to be. As we talked He finally admitted he felt  he would be happier outside the Mormon faith and he had plans to leave. At one point, clearly feeling discouraged,  he said "I want the happily ever after everyone wants but  I don't get it." This desire for a happily ever after was ultimately his reason for leaving.

I listened and asked questions but  probably didn't say anything too profound. It was one of those times I wish I had been in a speech class with Isaiah because my heart was breaking and I had no words to fix my own; or my friend's.

It hit me the other day what the pivotal piece was my friend had missed: there is no hope in a happily ever after but that's where he had put all his hope. I realized my friend, somewhere down the line had stopped putting his hope in Christ and rather put his hope in this idea of a happily ever after. It's easy to do, people do it all the time. You put your hope in having children, everything goes into this idea...and then you find out you can't. You  work toward a dream career for years; investing time and energy into it... and then never get it. There are these constant BIG disappointments that life is predesigned to give us, how we react to them though reveals where our hope really is.

That's not to say we can't hope for things. Personally, I hope to pass this Chemistry class I'm taking, but will I stop believing in everything I've come to believe if I don't? No! Because my hope is not rested on or in what happens with this class.

There are a plethora of people out there who have invested all their hope into a single, mortal idea; and when that plan or that idea fails their world crumbles, they lose hope, and the God they once believed in ceases to exist.

Living without hope is unbearable, we were made to be hopeful creatures, I'm not an expert but if I had to guess I would say living without hope is near impossible. Try living without air--it's like that. Being hopeful is an eternal, and God-like quality; we were built to hope, and with that we get to choose what we put our hope in. We can put our hope in getting married, having children, getting into our favorite college, living in our dream home or a million other things--but when the cards are dealt not in our favor, where will we turn?

This life wasn't suppose to be the happily ever after, this chapter doesn't end in 'the end'.  This is the climax, this is the intense part, the part that has you holding you breath, clenching your blanket in your fists and lifting your feet up off the ground. But through all of it,  through every hard thing and unexpected turn of events, if we keep our hope in the center of God's plan, Jesus Christ, we'll feel the reassurance that some things weren't created to be eternal, but we were. Life doesn't have to suck, life can be sweet if we keep our hope and our faith firmly grounded in Christ.

So I don't know about you, but I'm starting to think, at least for now, that happily ever after is overrated ;)

With much love,
Miss Mormon
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