My personal tight rope and handful of sand ~ Dear Miss Mormon

Monday, December 1, 2014

My personal tight rope and handful of sand

Dear friend,
I was talking to my dad last night, frustrated that after being home for a few weeks, I felt like I was losing the ground I had won spiritually despite my very best efforts.
I told my dad that I felt like I was holding sand in my hand and the tighter I held on to it the more it slipped through my fingers. I've been trying to combat this with the usual's--everything I've ever suggested to you or to any of my friends: reading my scriptures every day, praying, and looking for ways to serve; and yet, there goes more sand...
The conclusion my dad and I were able to draw is it comes down to priorities and balance. There's this awkward time after getting home from a mission--

 (oh hey, did I mention that part? I just got home)


when the priorities that were so simply organized before are much much harder to keep in that order. Real life sets in, and priorities get lost and confused amidst your other responsibilities, activities, and any other "-ies" in your life. I'm in that awkward phase...story of my life.
And then there is balance, ugh...balance. If I had known coming into this world that I was walking into a circus act, I would've practiced my tight rope routine!

 I feel like there are three main categories of life--at least in my life--to fall into: social, religious, and education/work. Keeping those things balanced is so hard! I once told a friend that I believe learning to balance is a big part of why we are here on earth...I still believe that---my life being exhibit A.
So balancing and priorities, not the easiest things in the world to maintain, but even with all the sand I feel like I may be losing I am still quite sure that I would never want to change the way I live. The gospel makes me the happiest.

Period.

 Even with any added stress it brings or the added responsibilities, I love the feelings I get as I read my scriptures, as I pray, and as I go to church; those are feelings that tell me its ok if I don't have it all figured out just yet, if I keep trying and doing those things it will come. My Heavenly Father loves me, is patient with me, and is helping me to learn bit by bit, sand particle by sand particle at a time. Till the sand stops slipping through my fingers and I can make it across the tight rope with a bucket of water in each hand successfully. But till then...




With much love,
Miss Mormon

2 comments:

  1. Life is a constant challenge and just when you think you have found the balance, something changes. The important thing is to keep our eye on the goal and to keep trying. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

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